Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

 

This is, BY FAR, the best parenting book I've EVER read! I was told about it by a friend and have finally read it. I first must say that I was impressed after purchasing it to read that the authors mentioned in the beginning of the book who had influence to it's contents. Many of them follow along the same ideas and values that I do and for me that was so amazing because it's hard to find content for my kids that follow my beliefs. Many of the authors mentioned I've read books from. There are aspects of the book as I read that I can see how "being present" and following "the flow" of the child and there are definite unschooling references. 

I catch myself before reacting most of the time and do my best to separate myself from the situation so that I can respond to the needs of my kids. We are still working on some issues we are having but I know that sometimes these things take time. I am also not as hard on myself as I've been in the past. I find with other books I'd give up on reading them because I'd be so hard on myself, but this time I'm different. I'm sure that may have something to do with all of the other reading I've been doing, but it still has something to do with this book. I am going to have to read it again in a couple of months. The information in it is so different to what society says or what I was brought up to do.

It is a plan for parents to bring up children with respect and without punishment or rewards. Through her plan that she calls S.A.L.V.E. I've found that I'm going deeper into myself and learning why I react the way I do with my kids and how it isn't them at all. Kids mean well and only end up not meaning well when they've been taken the wrong way for too long and become desperate or feel insecure. I am going through a healing process and dealing with past experiences just through the process that I am going through with my kids. I'm learning so much about me and about them. It is just an extension of what I've been learning about already and the timing couldn't be better. 

The other great thing is that the skills learned in this book can also be used with other relationships (work, spouse, friends etc.) I used S.A.L.V.E. when having a disagreement with my husband this weekend and the pain body that came up from my past actually brought tears to my eyes for a moment. We got through it fine and I think that by sharing my "S" from S.A.L.V.E. experiences with him helped him to see what I was going through. I also asked him important questions that he could walk away with and think about within himself. 

Through the plan in this book the children and parents become healed from old hurts and learn to live together in the now (presence), in harmony, and with love. The other important thing here is that although there is a deep attachment built through Attachment parenting practices (CoSleeping etc.) the child learns detachment with his/her feelings. What I mean by this is that the child sees that his/her parents or a sibling didn't cause the feelings but that the feelings are owned by the child and that it's okay to feel. There are tips to get the child through the feelings okay so that they can move on. There are many examples, ideas, and tips throughout the book for many different scenarios. What a great book! 

"There is no right or wrong behaviour. The only meaningful choice is between fear and love." ~ Gerald Jampolsky, Ph.D (as quoted in the book)

Book Sharing Monday

I'm late. We were away yesterday morning and the rest of the day was a blur. Here is our book.

Between The Tides by Fran Hodgkins is a great book about all of the interesting animals that live between the tides and how they survive while the tide is low. The illustrations do a great job of displaying how the animal changes for the tides. Austyn found this book very interesting.



"If you lived where the sea was and then wasn't you could...
Hold on tight.

(The periwincle snail clings to rocks and seaweed with a strong, muscular foot. When the tide goes out, it hunkers down to trap water inside its shell. If it gets pulled off, the periwinkle withdraws, closing its shell tight with a special door called an operculum.)"

100 Books-A-Month Challenge, Reading My Library

Our month was cut down to half since we were away from home and most of our books for two weeks.

February 2010 Reading list

Read to Austyn and Zoe:
1. A Birthday for Bear by Bonny Becker
2. Arthur Babysits by Marc Brown
3. Arthur’s Birthday by Marc Brown
4. Arthur’s Nose by Marc Brown
5. Arthur Writes a Story by Marc Brown
6. Boo to You! By Louis Ehlert
7. Carl’s Sleepy Afternoon by Alexandra Day
8. Clifford The Big Red Dog by Norman Bridwell
9. Dear Deer by Gene Barretta
10. Dog’s ABC A Silly Story About the Alphabet Emma Dodd
11. D.W., Go to Your Room! By Marc Brown
12. D.W.’s Library Card by Marc Brown
13. Elliot Bakes a Cake by Andrea Beck
14. Fly High, Fly Guy! By Tedd Arnold
15. Fritzi Fox Flew in from Florida by Leah Komaiko
16. Goodnight, My Duckling by Nancy Tafuri
17. Have You Seen My Duckling? By Nancy Tafuri
18. Here is the Wetland by Madeleine Duuphy
19. I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More! By Karen Beaumont
20. If You Decided To Go To The Moon by Faith McNulty
21. Know-It-All Sharks! By Irene Trimble
22. Little House, Little Town by Scott Beck
23. Little Quack Loves Colors by Lauren Thompson
24. Little Quack’s Hide and Seek by Lauren Thompson
25. Little Sharl by Anne Rockwell
26. Looking Closely Through The Forest by Frank Serafini
27. Lousy Rotten, Stinkin’ Grapes by Margie Palatini
28. Max’s Dragon by Kate Banks
29. Mickey Moonbeam by Mike Brownlow
30. Mind Your Manners, B.B. Wolf by Judy Sierra
31. Moonshot. The Flight of APPOLLO 11 by Brian Floca
32. My Visit to the Aquarium by Aliki
33. Nana’s Cold Days by Adwoa Badoe
34. Never Take a Shark To The Dentist (and other things not to do) by Judy Barrett
35. Not Norman. A Goldfish Story by Kelly Bennett
36. Ready or Not, Dawdle Duckling by Toni Buzzeo
37. Silly Billy by Anthony Browne
38. Snow by Manya Stojic
39. Space Probes by Steven Kortenkamp
40. Stick by Steven Breen
41. The Bully Blockers Club by Teresa Bateman
42. The Cat Who Walked Across France by Kate Banks
43. The Little Mermaid by Enid C King
44. The People Could Fly by Leo and Diane Dillon
45. The Tale of Benjamin Bunny by Beatrix Potter
46. The Tale of Mr Jeremy Fisher Beatrix Potter
47. The Tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle by Beatrix Potter
48. The Tale of Two Bad Mice by Beatrix Potter
49. The Three Little Fish and the Big Bad Shark by Ken Geist and Julia Gorton
50. The Wheels on the Race Car by Alexander Zane
51. Toad by Ruth Brown
52. Touch and Feel Farm Animals by Julie Aigner-Clark
53. Velma Gratch and The Way Cool Butterfly by Alan Madison and Kevin Hawkes
54. Voices In The Park by Anthony Browne
55. What Can You Do With An Old Red Shoe? By Anna Alter
56. What’s So Bad About Being and Only Child? By Cari Best
57. When Giants Come To Play by Andrea Beaty
58. When The Silliest Cat was Small by Gilles Bachelet
59. Where is Home, Little Pip? By Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman
60. Who Hoots? By Katie Davis
61. Wolf Song by Mary Bevis
62. Yankee Doodle by Mary Ann Hoberman and Nadine Bernard Westcott

Read to Zoe:
1. Big Red Barn by Margaret Wise Brown
2. Dinosaur Roar! By Paul and Henrietta Stickland
3. Do Your Ears Hang Low?
4. Good Night Baby Donald by Grolier
5. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
6. Grumpy Bird by Geremy Tankard
7. Happy Easter, Maisy! By Lucy Cousins
8. In The Spring by Craig Brown
9. Little Quack by Lauren Thompson
10. Little Quack’s Bedtime by Lauren Thompson
11. Little Quack’s New Friend by Lauren Thompson
12. Little Red Riding Hood by The Brothers Grimm
13. Mary Had a Little Lamb by Mary Ann Hoberman and Nadine Bernard Westcott
14. My Mommy is Magic by Carl Norac
15. My Mommy’s Wedding by Eve Bunting
16. Sailor Dog Jig by Margaret Wise Brown
17. Ten in the Meadow by John Butler
18. The Gold Cadillac by Mildred D. Taylor
19. Whatever  Happens to Baby Animals by Bill Hall

Read to Austyn:
1. Aladdin and his Wonderful Lamp by Rene Cloke
2. Django by John Cech
3. Julia Morgan Built a Castle by Celeste Davidson Mannis
4. Kissimmee Pete, Cracker Cow Hunter by Tan Day
5. Space Travelers by Seymour Simon
6. The Princess and the Frog by Vera Southgate
7. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Anne McKie
8. About Crustaceans by Cathryn Sill
9. Between The Tides by Fran Hodgkins
10. Meet the Shark by Catherine Vadon

Austyn and Zoe Read Together:
1. Wow! City! By Robert Neubecker
2. Morning Has Broken by Eleanor Farjeon

Zoe Read:
1. All Around The Block An Alphabet by Judy Pelikan
2. Big Fat Hen by Keith Backer

My Books Read:
1. The Power of Now by Echkart Tolle

More faces

Zoe really loves drawing faces right now. She loves to make girls with big eye lashes and she is starting to try different effects to make them more expressive. The one at the bottom with black around the eyes is suppose to look angry.

“Children do not need to be made to learn to be better, told what to do or shown how. If they are given access to enough of the world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to themselves and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world then anyone else could make for them” ~ John Holt

Rocket fever

 

I helped Austyn make this rocket the other day. He gave me directions and I helped him put it together. He wanted it to really fly. I have to admit that I wasn't as confident as he was. I really didn't think it'd fly well at all, but it really flies well. When he throws it it works about as good as a paper airplane or better! It use to have a point on the nose but he took it off and found that it flew even better. I tried to capture it in flight with my camera but was unsuccessful. Here is a picture of it caught in one of our trees. 

  

"Of course, a child may not know what he may need to know in ten years (who does?), but he knows, and much better than anyone else, what he wants and needs to know right now, what his mind is ready and hungry for. If we help him, or just allow him, to learn that, he will remember it, use it, build on it. If we try to make him learn something else, that we think is more important, the chances are that he won't learn it, or will learn very little of it, that he will soon forget most of what he learned, and what is worst of all, will before long lose most of his appetite for learning anything."
~John Holt~ Teach Your Own

She knows what she's doing!

A couple of days ago Zoe came up to me all excited holding out a piece of paper. "Mommy! Mommy! Look! I made a perfect B!" I looked and there before me was an absolutely perfect capital letter B. It was really great, especially for a three year old. I was so excited for her and hugged her and said "Good Job!" Then I went back to my old way and asked "Do you want to practice B's? I can print some sheets off for you to practice more." She looked at me all puzzled and said "But mommy... I am practicing!"

She was SO right!! She was practicing. I can see that. She knows what she is doing and doing it in the most natural way. She took her sheet of paper back to the table and continued to make B's including a really tall B with lots of bumps on it. I'm so proud of her, and so glad that I'm learning as much from her as she is from me.

"We who believe that children want to learn about the world, are good at it, and can be trusted to do it with very little adult coercion or interference, are probably no more than one percent of the population, if that. And we are not likely to become the majority in my lifetime. This doesn't trouble me much anymore, as long as this minority keeps on growing. My work is to help it grow. "

~John Holt~ Teach Your Own

Book Sharing Monday

 

  

  

The People Could Fly by Virginia Hamilton is a common folklore. There were many accounts of Africans and slaves who could fly. We've read a couple of stories similar to this one but we like the way this one is written the most. You can almost hear the sound of the person recounting what they witnessed while reading along. The story evoked hope in those who had no hope left. From suffering to magic power to freedom and hope. It's an inspirational story.  

"He raised his arms, holding them out to her. "Kum... yali, kum buba tambe," and more magic words, and so quickly, they sounded like whispers and sighs. 

The young woman lifted one foot on the air. Then the other. She flew clumsily at first, with the child now held tightly in her arms. Then she felt the magic, the African mystery. Say she rose just as free as a bird. As light as a feather."